Robin Has No Hood | The Weekly Dumpster Fire

By Christian Mabry | 2/5/2021, 12:01 PM CST

The tables have turned after members of the Reddit r/wallstreetbets community teamed up to bankrupt billionaire hedge funds by purchasing highly shorted stocks en masse.

This strategy was interrupted (hopefully only briefly) when massive retail investment companies such as Robinhood and CashApp barred the purchase of GME, AMC, and other skyrocketing stocks, citing the inability to cover new deposit requirements. They still seem to be able to afford Super Bowl ads, though.

A class action lawsuit is currently underway.

The GOP still manages to somehow be worse than the Democratic Party

In an attempt to cement a legacy of mediocrity, Joe Biden continues the timeless American tradition of keeping tens of millions of people priced out of healthcare.

President Biden’s executive order, which re-opens enrollment in overpriced, ineffective, and generally worthless insurance plans provided by the ACA, goes into effect on February 15 and ends on May 15.

The Democratic Party has also proposed raising the minimum wage (long overdue) to $15 an hour…by 2025. Although many states have higher wages, the federal minimum wage remains at $7.25 an hour, an abysmal number that has not changed in over a decade.

This legislation is currently tied to the COVID-19 stimulus proposal.

The new stimulus package would provide $1400 per person, a number that is, in fact, $600 less than Democrats promised the public a few months ago in exchange for their votes.

In spite of all of this, they still manage to be slightly less pathetic than the Republican Party, who is pushing for $1000 checks and watered down unemployment benefits for those who have lost their jobs due to the coronavirus pandemic.

It’s good cop, bad cop. Remember that.

But wait, there’s more!

New York severely undercounts the number of COVID nursing home deaths
Canada PM Trudeau requires out-of-pocket hotel quarantine for new arrivals
Capitol Police want the fencing around Congress to be permanent
Military personnel in Texas drink antifreeze
Trump’s entire legal team quits
Trump hires new legal team that includes would-be Jeffrey Epstein representation
India shuts off the internet in an attempt to silence protesting farmers
Myanmar’s government is overthrown by the military
Myanmar fitness instructor films a dance video with military-led coup behind her
Alexei Navalny asks Biden administration to sanction oligarchs who aid Putin
Alexei Navalny’s parole is violated for leaving the country to be revived by doctors in Germany after being poisoned by Putin
Pete Buttigieg is confirmed as Secretary of Transportation
Alejandro Mayorkas is confirmed as DHS Director
Bezos steps down as CEO of Amazon
Marjorie Taylor Greene is called out by her own party for being a Qcumber

Watch the video above for an in-depth analysis of these topics.

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