Donald & Jesus: A Letter to “Born Again” Christians

Since June 16, 2015, when Donald Trump announced that he would be running for president, America has become more divided than at any other time in recent history. While right-wing news outlets such as Fox News and the Washington Times have sung his praises, touting his stances on various issues as the ideal platform for the working and middle class citizens of the country, left-wing news outlets, which make up the majority of mainstream media, have ridiculed him.

Left-leaning corporate media routinely labels him as a racist, a bigot, a xenophobe, and a liar, but is any of it true? After all, if you ask the majority of his supporters, Trump is a beacon of hope and righteousness in an otherwise dark, gloomy, and godless world full of hopelessness and despair.

Out of every compliment rained upon him by his fan base, the notion that he was hand-picked by Jesus Christ himself to lead our country in “the right direction” seems to be the most astonishing. However, Donald Trump and Jesus Christ have more in common than many realize:

Donald and Jesus both had very humble beginnings

Jesus of Nazareth was born around 4 BC. His earthly mother and father, Mary and Joseph, could not find a place to stay for the night, so they ended up settling in a stable (for animals) and giving birth to him there, making a manger (a trough for animals to eat out of) his bed. Joseph was a poor carpenter, and he is thought to have taught Jesus this trade.

Wildly enough, Donald Trump’s story is eerily similar. Donald was born in 1946 to an extremely wealthy real estate developer (whose net worth was estimated to be at least a quarter billion dollars the year of his death). He was born in a first-world hospital and went to accredited first-world schools, inheriting his father’s wealth and taking over the already successful family business.

Donald and Jesus both respect women as well as marriage

Jesus had a great deal of respect for women, and he taught that we are all equal in the eyes of God. Throughout his life, he completely abstained from both marriage and sex, but he taught that marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God. He once saved a woman from being stoned to death by several men for committing adultery, saying “he who is without sin among you, cast the first stone at her.” He took faithfulness in marriage very seriously, even stating that “anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Surprisingly, Donald is quite similar.

First off, nobody has more respect for women than he does:

Trump has been married three times, and he has cheated on all three of his wives. He cheated on his current wife, Melania Trump, at least once that we know of, sleeping with a well-known porn star named Stormy Daniels while Melania was pregnant with his youngest child, Barron. To avoid the initial fallout, he paid her off through his lawyers in order to keep her quiet. Trump also has twenty-five sexual assault/rape allegations against him (and counting), including several Miss USA contestants and a Fox News host. He also explained that his wealth and fame give him the ability to grab women by the pussy (it’s cool, they let you do it):

Donald and Jesus both care about the less fortunate

Jesus stood up for the less fortunate. He performed miracles, turning very small amounts of food into enough food to feed thousands, free of charge. He preached that we should invite the poor to eat with us, expecting nothing in return. He proclaimed that the kingdom of God belongs to the poor, giving hope to all who listened. Jesus taught that we should never turn down someone who begs or asks to borrow something. His feelings regarding the needy can be summed up in a single verse:

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'” –Matthew 25:40

Believe it or not, Donald also has great compassion for the poor. His famous tax cuts predominantly helped the richest Americans, actually allowing them to pay a lower rate than everyone else; he clearly did that to help those in need–it’s not debatable. He also used his charity, the Donald J. Trump Foundation, to fund political campaigns, which is obviously what charities are for. At his most recent State of the Union address, he proudly let the world know that he “lifted” seven million people off of food stamps and ten million off of welfare. His undying love for the less fortunate is undeniable.

Donald and Jesus never tell a lie

Jesus Christ never told a lie–not even one.

Donald, too, is always honest. He’s a “straight-shooter.” He always tells the truth. In fact, he’s so honest that everyone who’s keeping track of how many times he tells the truth have him currently at over 16,000 false or misleading claims (as of January 2020) and counting. A quick fact check of any of his hundreds of interviews, rallies, and speeches make it clear that he is by far the most honest man alive.

Donald and Jesus both heal the sick

Jesus regularly performed miracles:

Donald Trump has handled coronavirus in a similar way:

This is a timeline of his statements that has been circulating the internet, has been fact checked, and is completely accurate. On January 22, the United States had one case, and while he has been making these statements, the number has steadily climbed each day, now reaching over 300,000. He’s done great work. Tremendous work. The best work.

Donald and Jesus are one and the same

There are many other areas where Donald Trump and Jesus Christ are identical from an ideological perspective as well, but this short list will suffice for now.

It’s obvious that the J in Donald J. Trump actually stands for Jesus. After all, Trump’s father’s middle name was Christ!

Happy Easter!


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